“Have a Shehecheyanu Day!” L.I.F.E. Shabbat Sermon 6/20/14
I held my beautiful new granddaughter, Goldie Abigail Perlin, for the first time on Sunday, after I hugged and fussed over her big brother, Micah. She is so beautiful. She slept most of the time we were there, but every once and a while, we saw those beautiful blue eyes. She looks like our side of the family; like my Bubby, actually. Put a babushka on her head and she could be in the shtetl in Poland! Her hair isn’t as red as her father’s was. People thought he was Irish. But, she has a red halo over her auburn hair that in the sunlight makes her angelic. Those of you who are grandparents know the joy, and awe, and wonder you feel when you hold a grandchild for the first time. It is a moment that takes your breath away.
As the granddaughter of a rabbi, she didn’t get the memo that you can’t come Confirmation weekend, so we had to wait to see her until she fit into the TBS schedule. At two weeks and two days old when I met her, and exactly three weeks old today, Goldie Abigail Perlin makes everything right with the world. Meeting her for the first time was a moment of life I will never forget, or at least I pray I never forget, because it will never happen again.
This is my last L.I.F.E. sermon for the calendar year. When our Adult Education Committee renamed itself L.I.F.E., Learning Is For Everyone, we chose the theme for this year of “L’chaim.” That is how I began at High Holy days, and that is how I will end the series, “L’chaim – To life!” So, thank you, Goldie, for giving me a very special reason to say, “L’chaim.”
Putting my grandparent/Savta hat aside, as a rabbi, I am consciously aware that the birth of a child is a “Shehecheyanu moment.” A moment when we say the blessing,
“Blessed are you, O Lord, our God, Ruler of the Universe who has given us life, has sustained us, and has enabled us to reach this season.” Amen.
But, I realized that I didn’t know much about the Shehecheyanu in Jewish history and the rules of how and when it should be said. In The Book of Jewish Customs by Harvey Lutske, the chapter onShehecheyanu is entitled, “The Anytime, Anyplace, All-Purpose Prayer: Shehehcheyawnu!” As an Orthodox Jew, Lutske cites the 17 times during a year that the blessing is said, including the candle blessing and Kiddush of each of the major holidays, as well as certain other times, best known as the third Chanukah blessing, when most of us really learned the blessing in a formal and serious way. Other sources include: putting on a new garment, the blowing of the shofar, the first time you shake a lulav and etrog on the first day of Sukkot, before reading the Megillah on Purim, and for the Kiddush on festivals. It is also recited every time one tastes fruit for the first time in the season. We live in a global age where melons and strawberries are available all-year-round, but for those of you who garden, each first cucumber, swiss chard, or tomato is worthy of a Shehecheyanu. The blessing is as old as the Talmud, which was completed in the 5th century. There the citation references the Shehecheyanu for the building of a house. Today, it is used to show gratitude at special moments. Lutske cites six:
1. When a child is born
2. When one buys or occupies a new home
3. When a child graduates from advanced schooling
4. When one meets a relative he or she hasn’t seen in 25 years
5. When one emotionally arrive in Israel for a 1st visit
6. When something unique, novel, or special happens
– the “kol bo”/ catch all of reasons.
To quote Lutske, “For many people, the Shehehcheyawnu is a very personal prayer. The fact that you bought a new house may be of no concern to the general public, but of course, in your life it is a major event.
7. A child’s graduation may be no different than that of his 2,000 fellow graduates, but not to his baubee (grandmother). Shehehcheyawnu is a prayer of personal gratitude, appreciation, and acknowledgment.”
In Philip Birnbaum’s The Book of Jewish Concepts he makes a point of noting the times when you are not traditionally permitted to say a Shehecheyanu, even though you are happy and it would seem appropriate – when there is pain or stress to another party who might not be so joyous: a bris, the last two nights of Passover when we recall the drowning of the Egyptians, or when we begin counting the omer after Passover, in acknowledgment of the tragic events that historically took place during that period, which is also the reason tradition prohibited weddings during the omer except on Lag B’omer.
I always say to grandparents that being present for a grandchild’s Bar or Bat Mitzvah is truly a Shehecheyanu moment. And as Reform Jews, we recite Shehecheyanu at a wedding, as well. Thanking God for the blessings in our lives and acknowledging those moments and seasons with a prayer of gratitude is a very Jewish thing to do.
But, imagine that you sought out Shehecheyanu moments every day, not just when the list permits. Imagine that you would take the time to see something unique, novel, or special in each and every day. Cancer surgeon and author Dr. Bernie Siegel said,
“Every day is my best day; this is my life; I’m not going to have this moment again.”
As someone working with cancer patients every day, Dr. Siegel knew full well that life is precious, and for some short, and for others painful. But, each moment of every day is a once in a lifetime experience. There are moments in every day, sometimes just one, or other times many, where you are overcome with joy, gratitude, and even awe. My little Goldie is a Shehecheyanu moment for our family, but I have realized that watching her brother Micah grow up over the past 25 months has given me more Shehecheyanu moments than I have had since my own kids were little… first words and first wonders: taking him to the zoo to see real animals for the first time. On Monday, I was teaching him to listen for birds on the campus of UCLA. And then, out of the blue, he says, “I hear birds!” That realization for him was a Shehecheyanu moment – hearing nature consciously for the first time. And we marvel when he sees something and says, “WOW!”
I have known parents who write it all down. With two boys, fifteen months apart, and this congregation just starting, I didn’t have time to write it all down and thought I would remember each Shehecheyanu moment. But, I know I said the blessing often as a young mother. As I look out tonight, I think about how many times I have had the privilege to be able to share that blessing with all of you.
To paraphrase Siegel:
“Every day is YOUR best day; this is YOUR life;”
Imagine if we all lived our lives with the awareness that “we are not going to have this moment again.”
May your every moment bring blessing, and may many of them be worthy of Shehecheyanu.
Shabbat Shalom.