“This is what our people…” Yizkor/end of Passover –April 10, 2015
I was so glad that we could go out to visit our grandchildren in Los Angeles before the seders this year. It gave me a chance to read Passover books with my grandson, Micah. In a matter of days, his excitement about finding the Afikomen and a visit from the prophet Elijah grew and grew. By the time the first seder came, Micah was so very ready to find the Afikomen and the wonder in his eyes as he and I returned from opening the door for Elijah and seeing the wine gone from the cup was something that I will remember forever.
Second night seder was a children’s seder and Micah was the oldest child there. He became the expert and helped me explain all the symbols on the seder plate. Since he won’t be three years old for a bit more than a month, it was pretty impressive for this rabbi/savta = grandmother.
But, the moment I will remember forever, happened two days after the seders were through. Micah came to our apartment, and just as he entered the door he looked at me with all seriousness and said, “Savta, I think I need a kipah, now.” I reached into the cupboard with the kipot and took out one from his father Jacob’s Bar Mitzvah, a black one with Jewish stars embossed in the suede. I put it on Micah’s head and then Micah turned to Gary and said,
“Pop, this is what our people wear.”
You could have knocked both of us over with a feather. Where did he learn that? How did he know? What touched my heart most of all was the term “our people” – and the fact that this almost three-year-old understood that there are things our people do, just because we are Jews.
This moment would be a wonderful grandparent memory for the archives and my grandparent memory book, but I am a rabbi and I couldn’t stop thinking about the profound lesson my grandson had taught me.
This is what our people…. WEAR.
This is what our people… DO. (Shabbat/mitzvot/tzedakah)
This is what our people… BELIEVE. (Shema)
This is what our people… STUDY. (Torah-Dead Sea Scrolls)
This is what our people…CARE ABOUT. (tikkun olam/feeding the hungry:“all who are hungry come and eat”)
This is what our people …REMEMBER. (Yizkor- our loved ones who have died in years past and those who have no one to remember them. Candles/Kaddish/Yizkor/Stories)
My grandson learned what so many Jews have forgotten or are choosing to forget – that being Jewish is about peoplehood not personhood, the good of the many over the personal preference of the individual, the preservation of the tradition over the convenience of those who choose not to care. It is less about what we believe than what we do. It is about practicing, belonging, and doing those things that preserve our people and our traditions, convenient or not.
Interestingly, not all Jews wear kipot. Not all Jews feel the need to dress in any ancient garb. Not all Jews make and keep Passover. But, those who do observe the traditions will ensure that our heritage, our stories, our beliefs and our memories continue, l’dor vador, from generation to generation.
For Jews, knowing what our people do, is why we send our children to Sunday school and Hebrew school. Knowing what our people do, is why we keep retelling the story of and celebrating the holiday of Passover, which began 3300 years ago.
Micah couldn’t wait to find the Afikomen, not for the gift. I know that will come later. He waited the entire seder, just to find the Afikomen for the sake of finding it. And his wonder over Elijah visiting our home was magical… we give our children the magic of Passover as a gift to them, and a gift to those who have come before us, preserving the magic and meaning we we inherited for yet another generation.
And some day, I imagine Micah telling his children about Passover and the seder. I imagine his joy at seeing the wonder in his grandchildren’s eyes as initiates them to the Afikomen, opening up the door for Elijah, or even wearing a kipah. And I hope that somewhere in the retelling will be stories of time with his Savta and Pop. Stories about being Jewish and doing Jewish —and lots of memories of holidays and traditions for him to share with his family. And I pray that he will remember us with love, and Kaddish, and Yizkor, l’dor vador.